Family Therapy
How did we get here?
This is a far cry from what you envisioned your life to be.
What happened to all the family outings, sitting around the dinner table talking about the events of your day, and the house filled with laughter during game nights?
Those vacations you were sure you would take now seem like a dream – an unattainable fairytale.
When did it get this bad? Everyone is on their own with little regard of anyone else.
Blow-ups during dinner have become the norm when you do finally get everyone to the table. Long gone are the talks in the car which have been replaced by headphones and an unwillingness to come together as a family.
So many questions run around in your head:
~ How did we get here?
~ Why are my kids not listening to me?
~ Why do I feel like an outsider in my home?
~ Why can’t we spend time together without it ending in a fight?
~ Why is my partner spending less and less time at home?
~ Will we ever spend time together as a family again?
~ Who is to blame?
I work with families just like yours to help get to the root cause of these problems and address these questions. We will start with the blame.
The blame game…
It is natural to try to get to the root cause of family difficulties. Most families, however, get caught in blaming each other or, as a family, identifying one member of the family as the “problem.”
Blaming one individual in your family gets you nowhere.
The family is in turmoil due the entire system and not one member’s behavior. As a family, you have developed certain roles which all members participate in that keep the family in their current state.
No one behavior keeps the family in turmoil, but it is the totality of the roles within the family unit that keeps the dysfunction alive.
I can help change this dynamic.
While working together, we will develop goals for the family that take into consideration everyone’s needs. What does family unity mean to you? What are the hopes for the family?
Then we identify what is not working that is dividing your family and making your time together not enjoyable. With each family member, we explore their triggers, feelings and behaviors that arise when the family system is not working – and you resort to blaming each other.
We will work together to improve the way you communicate with each other. I provide tools and model how to have healthy, bonding conversations as active listeners and supportive responders.
We start by identifying and replacing the negative roles within the family unit with new positive interactions that will become the new framework for the family’s home life.
We look at the behaviors that are working at home, take time to appreciate each member’s contributions to the family, develop rituals to promote unity, and develop solutions to what has not been working.
With my help, the negative roles responsible for the lack of closeness in your family are replaced with new solutions that promote togetherness.
The family you wish for is not out of reach.
It is never too late to start working toward the family life you want.
Call (631) 848-9961. I can help you get started today.